we are all careening through life.
we are trying to be successful, be loved, be happy.
we grasp at anything that gives us the smallest glimpse of the right direction.
i’ve never been good at direction.
not in driving and, some might say, not in living.
but i’ve always felt like i’ve given it my best shot.
and that’s all that’s really mattered to me.
i’ve prided myself in having not regretted the decisions i’ve made – even the ones that may have gotten me lost.
because i’ve always found my way home, in the end.
it’s never been difficult for me to find light in the dark or smile through tears.
because i’ve always known that the wrong turns don’t really matter. they are simply there to lead us back to where we need to be. and they give us a new purpose: to focus our energy on what does matter.
today, i closed my eyes, let the sun hit my face and cleanse my thoughts.
then i asked myself what has been the most difficult thing for me to do.
of all the experiences i’ve had, when did i feel the most lost?
the answer didn’t surprise me. or thrill me. or scare me.
but it was simple:
the hardest thing about life, my life, has been the times when i told myself i couldn’t do something.
i told myself that it was too big for me. too great for me. too good for me.
the most significant battle i’ve faced in my life has been to believe that i can do it.
whatever it happens to be.
and, when i opened my eyes, i sat there with this revelation.
and i held it in my heart.
and i told myself that i am good.
that i deserve good.
then i asked myself to start believing it, trusting it.
and making it the first step in a right direction.